Think Of You
by Genuhsis
Summary: second part to "TheDoctor"
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did....well I just don't- is the point.

Summary: Another songfic. M/O turned MSR. = )

Notes: Follows no storyline or timeline. If you don't like it- don't read it. = )

This is a second part to The Doctor, which I highly suggest you read. It really does kinda play a big role in this, so, let's just say- read TheDoctor because this story can't stand alone.

- - - -

It's one hundred and nine degrees in this crowded room  
No room to breathe with walls as cold as a gallery  
This is no place for me  
Such hard faces in smoke  
The smell lingers in my clothes

It's a bad night to be alone

But that's the way it goes

-A Fine Frenzy

; Think of You

It had been almost one year since Dana Scully had decided it was time for a break. Or, more like it was decided for her. One year ago she had gone on a 5 month vacation to break from the pedestal her partner had put her on, only to find out that-not only had she been taken off the pedestal, she had been kicked out[off] completely.

Mulder had never told her in direct words that she had been cast-out. He simply moved on, and she had let him. It had started at work, she had asked for a transfer and he had let it go. Asking her to keep in touch, but never asking her to stay. Of course, she kept in touch for the first few months. They met for coffee at least once a week, and Lilly joined then at least once a month. That had lasted a total of 4 months before their meetings were reduced to once a month, and then, almost 7 months later, was reduced to a phone call once a month.

Little by little that comfortable silence had turned into an uncomfortable one, and then one day, the calls simply stopped. Scully never called him because of two reasons. He was either never there when she called those first few months, and when he was, it was Lillian who answered.

Scully had to admit that through her eyes, Lillian had done nothing wrong. She encouraged Mulder to see Scully and to keep the friendship, it seemed to Scully that it was Mulder who had effectively cut the communication cords.

She still lived in her apartment, still worked for the FBI. She still walked those hallways at the Hoover building, subconsciously avoiding the times she knew Mulder would walk them. Mulder, who, in general, hadn't changed, was now a bit more on time, usually arriving with Lillian. At first, there was awkwardness when they had bumped into each in the halls. Scully remedied this by arriving later on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She now mostly worked doing autopsies, and sometimes field work, never venturing out to do more work. She was taking the time to get her life back in order.

She went out a few times a week, now that she worked a solid 9-5 job she could take the luxury of making plans.

- - -

Lillian was taking a shower and Mulder was trying to find his tie. He wanted to wear the blue and black stripped one because he knew it was one of Lillian's favorites.

They had both decided that once a month they should get all dressed up and go out to dinner. Although they did it more than once a month, it was now the second week into the month and they hadn't gone out. The case they were currently working on, had taken more time than they had estimated, but a week later and no real injuries, they both decided it was time to go out.

Mulder heard the water stop and he called out to Lillian, asking where the tie would be.

After having successfully choked himself with the tie, Lillian came out to help him.

"I leave for 20 minutes and you try to kill yourself? Really Mulder?"

Mulder laughed and grabbed her hand, walking toward the living room.

"The couch is getting awfully lonely. It needs some warmth and only one set up cheeks."

He raised his eyebrow and Lillian laughed as she walked away from him to the front door.

Mulder followed and grabbed their coats. It was a warm night, but he kept the coats in the car, just in case.

Once they were in the car Lillian looked out the window and let a comfortable silence settle in between them.

As she looked out the window, she wondered, as she often did, how Scully managed not to fall in love with Mulder. She never liked to dwell on these thoughts for long because she always came to the same conclusion. Scully must have fallen for him. The question was- had Mulder fallen for her? And if he had- was she keeping him from Scully? As she looked out the window, she let her thoughts go to other places, places that didn't hurt as much as the thought of Mulder loving someone other than herself.

Quick notes: Sorry it took so long. I went on retreat. My beta did wonders working on this though lol. I'm getting much better thanks to her ; )


	2. Chapter 2

And I think of you whenever life gets me down  
I think of you whenever you're not around  
And you rest your bones  
Somewhere far from my own.  
Yeah but you still pull me home.

-A Fine Frenzy

; Think of You

This was Scullys' first month with Andy, who was, by all means, pretty great. She smiled at herself in the mirror, both hands on her hips.

"Things are great." she said, softly, but reassuringly.

Anyone who looked in on this apartment would think that Dana Scully had it all worked out.

She had a great apartment, a good job with fairly good pay, a loving mother who called every other day, an amazing body and a pretty incredible boyfriend. Yes, Dana Scully had her life figured out finally.

There was a knock at the door and she made her way through the apartment, opening the door to a very handsome, 5'8 sandy-brown hair, athletically built, Andy.

She smiled and reached up to kiss him, pushing the thoughts of Mulder's' height aside. Andy was nothing like Mulder, and Scully tried her best not to compare, but every so often, something would slip.

"You ready?"

She grabbed her purse, and a light beige coat and nodded in his direction. Andy stepped outside and waited for her to lock up. Together they headed down the elevator and into the car where they fell into a comfortable silence. Andy was very attentive, but he preferred to ask about her day and things of that matter, during dinner.

As they made their way into the restaurant, Scully heard her name. Both she and Andy turned at the same time and Scully found herself face to face with Lillian. She embraced Scully with one hand and kept her other locked with Mulder's. As Scullys stomach turned, her mouth automatically smiled. Mulder smiled in return, but looked like he was in a great deal of pain.

After the introductions and greetings, all four decided to sit at the same table. They ordered and after some time, Andy finally spoke.

"So, you two live in DC?"

"Yes, but we're actually considering moving. I was offered a position, and we were thinking of moving the whole office over to California so we could be together."

Scully looked up from her salad in Mulder's direction, but he was obviously avoiding her gaze, vehemently studying his own dinner.

"Moving?" was all Scully could ask, her eyes on the brink of tears.

Mulder sensed her discomfort, and finally looked up into her eyes. Lillian and Andy were both completely oblivious to what was going on because Lillian smiled and kept talking.

"Yes! To wonderful warm California. How great does that sound? We're not sure yet...we have a few friends here, not to mention Skinners' constant parental watch."

Scully managed a smile for Lillian and Andy, but kept her eyes on Mulder, sadness apparent in her eyes.

After about ten minutes of egotistical banter about who would pay the check, it was split between Mulder and Andy. After that disaster averted, they headed outside. Since Andy and Lillian were the ones who had driven they walked to the valet area while Mulder and Scully stayed behind.

Mulder and Scully stood in awkward silence, not daring a quick glance at each other. When both Lilly and Andy waved to them, Scully started walking and Mulder's' hand went automatically to her lower back. Electricity sparked between both, and Scully stopped for a split-second to take it in before she started to walk again, her face neutral.

"Our place, o'clock." was all Mulder whispered as he bent down a little to hug her. He smiled politely and shook Andy's hand as Lilly hugged Scully and then the two couples parted.

- - - -

Scully laughed at herself as she stood in front of the mirror, trying on every outfit she owned.

She had been at this for the past hour, and still had not found something she liked.

"Urghh" was all she could scream as she sat on her floor, annoyed.

She knew she couldn't find an outfit because it wasn't just anyone she was meeting. No it was one Fox Mulder. Mulder comma Fox. Fox William Mulder. William Mulder comma Fox.

She continued to do this for a good 20 minutes before she finally got up and grabbed her keys.

This was a bad idea, she knew it from the moment she considered not going. He'd whispered it to her, and she hadn't thought about declining or simply just not showing. She had automatically accepted, and had even tried to find a outfit that would impress him. Something that would make him look at her and see that she had changed. She had changed for the better and had moved on, especially from him. By the time she reached her car, she was really thinking this was a bad idea. She drove in an automatic mode as she thought of how this meeting might go, always reaching the worst conclusion possible.

She parked and made her way through the path, cutting through the grass when the walk seemed too long. Her stomach dropped, but was risen by butterflies all at the same time. She ignored all thoughts and focused on her breathe, hoping it would help her relax.

She quickly found herself near their bench and cursed at herself for cutting through the grass, getting her there exactly 1:00 am. She sat down and looked out at the water, focusing on the moon reflected. She felt a stare and quickly looked up to her right, where she found herself in the gaze of one Fox William Mulder.

A/N: I'd like to thank my one and only beta, 9, for fixing this. I'm going through some really rough times, both in real life and in writing...so mah buddy helps meh in both ways. You guys honestly don't wanna see my writing before it gets to her. It makes no sense....I swear.


	3. Chapter 3

I thought I had it figured out in a brand new life  
With a great big house  
And green initials on the towels  
I should be happy now

-A Fine Frenzy

; Think of You

It had been two weeks and Scully's subconscious would not let it go. She looked out the window at the cars passing by, noticing that Andy was already parking, and smiled slightly at the thought of Andy camping. As she watched Andy cross the street, her mind wandered once again to that night.

- - - - - - -

"It's...it's a good plan right Scully?", Mulder had asked, nervous but in need of her approval.

"Yes, it is Mulder. It sounds like a sensible plan. Was it Lillian's idea?" she had asked, not wanting to seem like she was placing blame, but merely wondering.

"It was a combination of both our ideas. You know...you can call her Lilly. I'd prefer it and I know Lilly would love it if you did too."

"Oh, okay. Both your ideas?" she asked while her mind spun in thirty million directions. Lilly was not something Scully wanted to call her, it sounded informal and friendly. It gave the idea of a friendship that both women did not share. It was both their ideas? Now she couldn't put the blame solely on Lillian. _Lilly_, she added as a cold afterthought.

"Yeah, well...I figured I needed a change, but I was thinking haircut or new suits, Lilly suggested we move. Change scenery, go somewhere sunny."

"What about the X-Files?"

Mulder's eyes lit up as he inched closer to Scully, making it seem as if he was about to reveal an incredible secret.

"This is where her brilliance comes in. You see, she figured we could ask to move the whole office to California. I told her it would be difficult, and that's when she thought we could spend six months there and six months here. You know, get the best of both worlds."

Scully pondered this for a while, but her face automatically smiled in his direction. Her eyes must have given her out because he frowned in her direction.

"You think it's a horrible idea." he stated, a bit of agitation in his voice.

"It's just a bit out there. I mean it's great, I'm glad. Really, Mulder. It's a bit sudden, but I'm extremely glad things are working out for you."

She smiled and he let it go. Both talked about small things for a few more minutes before she got up and both said their goodbyes.

-- - - - - -

She heard Andy knock and made her way to the door, fixing herself up a little along the way. They had been going out for some time now, but something deep inside her was never fully comfortable with him. She opened the door and was greeted by an utterly happy Andy.

"Dana! I just came to say a quick bye. I promise that as soon as I'm back I'll give you a call!" he said as he kissed her lips tenderly.

She smiled and hugged him, her thoughts never fully leaving that night on the bench.

- - - - - - - - -

Mulder grabbed his basketball and bounced it a few times before he heard the window in his bedroom open.

"Babe, it's so nice out. Maybe if we went for a walk...."

No response, which often meant that he wasn't going to get his way. Never one to lose to easily, Mulder made is way to the bedroom where he found Lilly looking out unto the street. He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her, pressing against her, his chin barely touching the top of her head.

"We're really doing this Mulder...." Lilly said, more to herself than to Mulder.

"Seems so babe. You sound sad, what's wrong?"

She turned and kissed him lightly on the lips, walking away from him into the living room.

"You have you're whole life here and I can't help but feel like I'm ripping you away."

Mulder followed her after a few seconds and leaned on the door frame, watching her fidget with boxes.

"You're not ripping me from anything. I'm a big boy, and if I didn't want to move I would have told you." he said as he watched her move a VHS version of "Plan 9".

His thoughts suddenly a million miles away thinking of the night Scully spent curled on his couch trying to understand his love for this movie. A smile spread across his face and a warm feeling filled his chest, leaving him a bit breathless. The cute little redhead who never seemed to understand his taste in music or movies, but sat with him countless hours and tried to enjoy it...

"Earth to Mulder...?"

Mulder's thoughts snapped and his found Lilly with the phone in her hand.

"Uh yeah..? Sorry..."

"It's okay I was wondering if we're eating Chinese or Italian? I'll just pick it up on my way back from grabbing more boxes."

"Italian" he said as he turned and headed to his bed. "Scully likes Italian best..." were his last thoughts as he settled in for an afternoon nap.

A/N: Sorry it took so long. I took forever, and so did my beta. We've both been really busy. I'm graduating [ick I know!] and the softball team she helps coach is going to regionals! Neat huh?

Let's all wish them luck. The next chapter won't take so long, I promise!


	4. Chapter 4

This is the second to last bit, so thank you everyone for sticking this out with me. Sorry it took so long to get updates out, but I really honestly do appreciate all the comments and even that "threatening" mail bits to keep me going. Thanksss to mahh beta who did softball,work and still managed to be able to read through all my funneh looking words. = D

And you planted roots down by the sea  
I saw you once on the street  
You didn't notice me  
But I think of you whenever life gets me down

I think of you whenever you're not around.

-A Fine Frenzy

**; Think of You**

**- - - - - **

Scully walked down the sunny California sidewalk, the fingers of her right hand entwined with Andy's left. She smiled as she window-shopped, calmly enjoying her winter break. Andy had family he hadn't seen in years over in California and, by pure luck, it seemed Bill was stationed here/there as well.

_Bill and Andy will get along just fine._ She thought as they crossed the street. _Better than Mulder and Bill ever did. _She thought, in the faintest manner, trying to block out those thoughts. It's been more than two years and she still could not bring herself to forget Mulder completely, and worse yet, to stop comparing everything Andy did, to Mulder. _Mulder looks better in khakis than Andy, wow his legs are tan, _she thought as they made their way down the street. She turned her head swiftly in the direction she had just been looking seconds before. Doing a double take, making sure it really was him.

As he crossed the street, she realized they had stopped walking as well. Andy had stopped to look at what Scully was so suddenly interested in when he spotted Mulder.

"Hey isn't that Mulder?" he asked, genuine happiness crossing his voice, but Scully simply nodded slowly, not able to say a word.

She watched him from afar, turn on the street they were just on, and then turn to a car. Scully never took her eyes off him and he placed two cups of iced coffee on top of a black Lexus, opened the door, climbed into the car and then took off. She couldn't bring herself to take her eyes off the empty space where his car had been only second before. Not until she felt Andy tug at her hand did she finally snap out of the trance she was in. She turned and began to walk automatically. Her thoughts were whirling in a million different directions.

_Surely he had seen them_, she thought. Andy began talking, but Scully was focused elsewhere. Her mind played the scene over and over. Andy noticed the change in her behavior, but simply walked down the sunny sidewalk with her.

- - - - - - - -

As Mulder made his way to the house, his mind wondered. _How many times had he seen a redhead and turned abruptly, only making himself look like a fool? But then again, how many redheads could California hold? What if that had been her and he missed his chance, solely to get both coffees to the house without getting any on himself?_ He let out a loud sigh as he parked the Lexus into the driveway. _This would kill him for days now_, he thought as he opened the door and found a smiling Lilly on the other side of the living room.

"What's up Lil?" he asked as he set down both coffees and hopped on the couch.

"I got a call from Barb, Skinner's secretary. It seems Dana is in town!"

Mulder felt his stomach drop as he watched a smiling Lilly move across the room and sit next to him.

"Isn't It's it marvelous? I think we should invite her over to dinner. I hope she's still with the cute guy we saw her with last time!"

Mulder stood up and walked out of the room, checking his pockets to make sure he had the keys. In the few years he'd gone out with Lilly, nothing had ever annoyed him up until this point.

_How could she be so goddamn happy all the fucking time, _were the last thoughts he had as he headed to the car. As Mulder slipped into the freeway, he let his thoughts go as he drove through LA traffic. The one thing Mulder happened to love about California was the fact he was able to let his thoughts go as he sped through the freeway, looking out into the water every so often.

- - - - -

It was a sudden, almost irrational call, one Mulder couldn't have thought of doing on his own. Or, maybe he could, but he was never much for planning. The truth was Scully was no longer sure of what Mulder would or would not do. Nevertheless, the call was something she both did and did not expect. She could feel the awkwardness he felt through the phone line as he asked whether she was available or not. Or, as Mulder put it, "Are 'you guys' available for dinner and movies at our house?" Mulder has a photographic memory, meaning that he knew his name, _Andy_. However, he had refused to admit he knew it, often calling him "Rick" or as a painful stab to both their feelings, "Ed." She often found her throat start to close at the memory of Ed Jerse, both in pain and in anger. Mulder was the one who had moved on first, had he expected her to wait while he went around with Lillian? Scully wasn't able to keep her thoughts clear as Mulder gave her directions. She could look them up online later, she thought, as he gave out streets. The call was ended with a cold "Okay, we'll be there. Yes, tonight, 8. Ok. Bye."

As Scully turned to a smiling Andy, she tried her best to smile.

"I think I'll go for a scenic drive," she managed to say before she headed out the door, holding tears back.


	5. Chapter 5

You rest your bones  
Somewhere far from my house  
Yeah, but you still pull me home

Just to put your mind at ease  
You don't owe me anything  
You paid me well in memories

-A Fine Frenzy

; Think of You

- - - - - -

They were done with the awkward meal, the even more awkward and uncomfortable viewing of two movies, and all four of them had survived. The tension was noticeable, but it seemed Lillian was not one to be deterred from trying to have a good time. She smiled, made polite conversation and held Mulder's hand in reassurance every chance she got, she knew tonight wasn't a mistake, now if only Mulder looked like he felt that way too, then maybe tonight wouldn't be a waste. Maybe it made her an evil person, maybe it didn't, but Scully smiled at Lillian every time she touched his hand because Scully knew full well that it was only her own touch that could ever make Mulder's face cheer up.

As Andy drove them back to the hotel, Scully began to smile. Her bitterness was replaced with a light, almost happy feeling. She had been the one who helped Mulder during his darkest times. She had been the one who helped him when no one else could, who had believed him when no one else would. Scully had been that something in Mulder's life that not even Lillian could replace. This brought her a comfort she had never really felt before. She was irreplaceable in Mulder's memories, and that was the most she could ask for. Late night stakeouts, tiring cases and indescribable plane rides filled Scully's mind. Mulder had filled her life with something she couldn't quite name, and although they would never be together, she had to admit that she was glad he was in her life. She loved him, and was _in love _with him, but he didn't feel the same way back. This was something she was going to have to learn to live with if she was ever going to make her relationship with Andy work.

- - - – - -

As Mulder finished putting away the last dishes, he thought of the evening. Somewhere along the way, the comfortable conversations he had with Scully had disappeared and turned into something awkward and almost painful.

That wasn't how he wanted his friendship with Scully to be, but somehow, over time, it was what it had become. He wanted to call Scully, to apologize for the way he'd been and the way he probably made her feel. Every time she asked a question, his answer was bitter and short. He knew Scully could read him better than anyone, therefore he didn't bother being nice. Not when he knew she would read right through him.

As he closed the cupboard, he stood there, hand midair, while memories filled him. She knew him better than anyone because she had always been there. Through the worst, and the, well...the even worse than worst moments. He rarely gave Scully good moments, and now he regretted it. It was too late to try and fix their friendship. He felt a hole burn deep inside as he came to the realization that the past few years had felt so empty because, well, because he wasn't complete.

'He loved Scully, he was _in love _with Scully, but how could she ever love him when all he did was have her chase his endless dreams? His nightmares? His enemies?' Mulder shook his head at those thoughts. They weren't just his dreams, nightmares and enemies. Along the way they had become hers, and she had accepted it, taken it and struggled through with him. Sometimes he had been the one out of the loop, having to catch up because he had quit.

That's when the thought hit him. How could he have been so stupid before? Apparently Oxford and it's great psychobabble had done nothing because it took him years to realize he could not live without Scully. And he was fairly certain, that she could not live without him. He wasn't sure how he'd explain this to Lilly, or if Scully would take him back, but it was worth a shot. Living with someone else, spending his life with someone else, simply wasn't possible.

He turned off the kitchen light and made his way up the stairs, taking deep breathes, trying to word out his feelings for Lilly, because she deserved that much. Lilly deserved so much more, as Scully did. Yet

Mulder had picked Scully long before Lilly came along.

Special Notes: Thank you EVERYONE who stuck through this with me. I know I took quite a bit. Thank you all, really! Thank you to my beta, if it weren't for you buddy, I wouldn't be writing fanfic AND publishing it. It would stay in napkins, all over Chicago. I'm having another series following this in which Mulder and Scully mingle in happiness. I've started on it, but it won't be published until November 2009. Thanks everyone, again. = ]


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